The Dirtiest Word, Part Four

(Continuing the series begun Nov. 1)

Why would anyone in their right mind want to seek out a Catholic priest to receive the sacrament of reconciliation when we already know that God always forgives us when we ask?

One reason is that the sacrament is scriptural, given to us by Christ Himself.  In John 20, we read the story of Jesus's resurrection from the dead.  He appears to Mary and later that day joins the apostles where they had gathered together.

Now when it was late that same day, the first of the week, and the doors were shut, where the disciples were gathered together, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to them: Peace be to you.

And when he had said this, he shewed them his hands and his side. The disciples therefore were glad, when they saw the Lord.

He said therefore to them again: Peace be to you. As the Father hath sent me, I also send you.

When he had said this, he breathed on them; and he said to them: Receive ye the Holy Ghost.

Whose sins you shall forgive, they are forgiven them; and whose sins you shall retain, they are retained.  John 20: 19-23

With these words, Jesus commissioned the apostles, a commission passed through the Apostolic Succession to the ordained priests of the Catholic churches.                                                                 

Another reason is that we're human and forgiveness is a major issue in our lives.  Forgiving other humans who hurt us is hard.  We have trouble accepting the forgiveness of those we hurt, too, sometimes asking more than once for forgiveness for a single offense.  Most of all, we have trouble forgiving ourselves, experiencing guilty feelings to a sometimes-crippling degree.  We punish others, and we punish ourselves.  We hang onto old hurts, wondering if remembering them means we haven't forgiven them.

When we deal with God, a lot of these human struggles with forgiveness come into play.  We may wonder whether we're truly sorry or just going through the motions.  We may question whether the degree of contrition we feel is sufficient to gain God's forgiveness.  We may even examine the circumstances of our lives, searching for a sign of God's forgiveness.  It can be difficult to trust that our prayer 'worked.'

The sacrament of reconciliation relieves those doubts.  We have Jesus's word for it.

Finally, the sacrament is a joyful experience of God's never-failing love.  Yes, joyful!  How can reunion with God be anything but sweet?  The sacrament of reconciliation brings not only forgiveness but freedom.  It is truly a joyful and happy experience to receive God's forgiveness through the sacrament of reconciliation.

So what's the problem?  The problem is that so many of us have been hurt in the sacrament of reconciliation.  Instead of finding release from the burden of sin and joyful reunion with our loving Father, many Catholics have entered the confessional and experienced the priest's version of that rigid, angry God-Judge-and-Jury.  Instead of receiving a joyful assurance of forgiveness, they hear the words of absolution being spoken much like an angry father saying, "Well, ok this time - but I've got my eye on you!"

A priest who gives absolution in a disapproving manner does not mirror God's love effectively.  The penitent may be forgiven, but the joy has been drained from the experience.  The penitent may leave feeling unworthy, retaining feelings of guilt instead of the sublime freedom the sacrament is meant to offer.  They are indeed forgiven, but they may not be able to accept it if the confessor's own attitude taints the sacrament.

Such confessions have driven many Catholics from not only the sacrament but the Church.  It is a tragedy that a sacrament meant to bring us into union with God would prove to be a stumbling block for so many.
Tune in tomorrow as we conclude this series.